Working/Stay at Home Mommy

It's 3:10pm on a Friday afternoon, and I FINALLY got both babies to sleep at the same time.  To say it's been a long day is an understatement (I'm eating crunchy peanut butter with a spoon straight from the jar).  It seems like no matter what I've done today, either one baby will sleep while the other screams, or they both decided to just scream at me.  Mommy's nerves need this nap they're taking, and I only pray it lasts until they're ready to eat again at 5:30pm (not likely, but a mom can dream).

I have been working from home since October 5th.  It's been an uphill battle to this point, but I think I might be getting into a good routine.  The most difficult part is staying on top of all of my different responsibilities and not getting behind.  The trick is to not sit down and do nothing, always be doing something.  No breaks! BUT if I do take a break, its imperative that it not happen before 2pm.  If I slow down before 2pm, you can just kiss the day goodbye.  The result is a lot of stress and tears just trying to catch up to my day.  It's not pretty.

The WORST is when I get the babies fed, changed, and in position, then refill my drink and sit down to start working, I then realize I need to pump (speaking of...ugh....I need to do that now).  Oh, and the bottles are all dirty.  So I have to take 10-15 minutes to wash bottles and dry my pump accessories.  Then I have to sit down and pump for 10-15 minutes.  Then I have to pour that into 2 bottles for their next feeding and put the rest in the fridge. (As I open the fridge, I realize that's where all of my pump bottles have gone, and I make a mental note to freeze all of that at night and wash those bottles so we have enough for the next days storage.) 

Finally, 30-45 minutes later, I'm ready to work.  I look at the clock, and they should be ready to eat again in an hour and a half.  Let's knock out some work! annnnndddd Harrison's crying. *puts paci in his mouth* Now let's do this. *checks email* (terrible idea) *responds to 2 emails, and forwards 3* Hudson now cries. *puts paci in Hud's mouth* I tell myself, "Stay away from email, do actual work.  You now have an hour to do something productive with this time."

All of that amounts to about 30 minutes of actual work that gets accomplished between those feedings.  Time to feed babies again, and after this feeding I'm going to actually get a lot done, because I'm ready for it now! Now I'm hungry.  Digs in pantry for food.  Only finds peanut butter.  That will work. **Gets an hour of work done between those feedings** #progress

My office/view during the day

Being a working mommy isn't easy.  You deal with the guilt of having someone else spend close to 10 hours a day with your children, and you know that you miss all kinds of cute things that they do during the day.  You miss the smiling faces looking back at you and the warm snuggles after they finish their bottle.  You work 40 hours a week, come home each night and try to spend as much time as you possibly can with your kiddos while also cooking dinner and somewhat cleaning the kitchen, and looking at the laundry pile get bigger (because there are more important things to be done).  Once the kids are finally in bed, you do some last minute cleaning and rush off to bed yourself (because you know the babies are going to be up again at 1am, and you will be joining them).

Being a stay at home mommy isn't easy.  Your job NEVER ENDS!!!  You're always on call, you're always cleaning something, you're probably covered in spit up (and decide it's easier to let it dry and have less laundry, besides, you're now immune to the smell.  The smell is now a part of you.).  You are the meal planner, the errand runner, the laundry washer, the baby keeper aliver, the milk cow (at least that's the stage of my life currently).  You are wonder woman!  You likely haven't showered in the past 2 days, and hopefully you had a chance to brush your teeth, and maybe use your deodorant (where did I put that again? Gotta put that on a to do list to find.).

Being a stay at home/working mommy is just not even in my wheel house. (Side  note: it's 3:48pm I'm still attempting to blog after pumping and getting my snack, and Harrison is crying...BRB.)  (3:56pm and I'm back.  Harrison has now been swaddled so he will actually nap.)

Back to what I was saying....it's HARD to work at home and be a stay at home mommy.  These first 3 weeks I've tried to keep up with as much as I can, but my sanity recognizes that I need to pick and choose what my priorities are going to be, and everything else will just get done whenever we get more than 24 hours in one day.  Kevin is a huge help to me, but he gets to go to work and get out of the house every day (I'll admit I'm slightly jealous.  But I'm mainly jealous during days that the boys won't settle down.).  I know he's tired in a different way than I am.  We share the dinner responsibilities as far as cooking and cleaning.  He does almost ALL grocery shopping (he's an amazing man...I HATE the grocery store.).  We share the laundry load (and are both still drowning in it).  Our greatest complication is that there are two little mouths to feed.  Ideally, once Kevin is home we each take one baby so they get some solid one on one time from us.  I've been feeding 2 babies at the same time all day, so I will admit there are occasions when I decide to put Grady to bed and leave Kevin high and dry to handle two crying babies at the same time.  I'm immune to the crying.  I have a volume button and I can block it out until I can get to what they need (always within a reasonable time...babies are a bit dramatic).  Kevin on the other hand....cannot block it out.  So when I finally get Grady to bed and can relieve Kevin, I sometimes have 3 cranky boys to calm down.  =)

In order to not completely lose our minds and become frustrated with each other, Kevin and I communicate A LOT.  I'll admit that I mostly complain, and he listens.  And then there's really no real solution to my frustrations, so we hug it out and I take a hot shower (if I have time) or go to bed.

Next week, I have a new game plan.  The boys have been enrolled in Mother's Day Out on Monday and Friday!  So I will now have 2 days a week that I get a few uninterrupted hours to complete my work.  I don't even feel guilty about it.  I wanted to send them 4 days, but they only had an opening for 2 kids on those two days.  As soon as another baby in the nursery is ready to move to the toddler room, we will take that spot and send the boys more days a week.  Starting in January, they will be there full time and I will be back in the office.  So I just have to come up with a game plan to make it through the next 2 months and still be productive.  I can do this!  We will see how next week goes.

Time Slow Down

To say that the past 7 weeks have flown by is an understatement.  I can remember thinking that the first week home with the twins felt like 2 weeks, but now that we've gotten into a semi-good routine that has changed my perspective of time.

6 Week Postpartum Checkup

I attempted to blog last week, but things came up that prevented me from getting to the computer long enough to finish the post.  Last Monday, I went in for my 6 week postpartum appointment.  I loaded up both of the boys and made my way downtown.  Once we got to the doctor's office I got them in their stroller (aka: The Limousine), and we wheeled our way inside.  Overall we successfully navigated the building all the way to our assigned exam room.

When the physician's assistant entered the room, she smiled at the boys and then focused her attention on me. She asked how I was doing, so I explained to her that I was still having some postpartum bleeding, and that I feel like it's an excessive amount at this point.  At times in the past few weeks, it had gotten so bad that I even called into the after hours emergency line.  The nurses that called me back told me what I was experiencing was normal, but I had my doubts about that.

Once she started my exam, she quickly said that she needed to go get my doctor to take a look. (Great! Oh and the babies are starting to wiggle because it's time to eat.  And did I mention that their stroller is HUGE!  It took up roughly 25% of the exam room.  Logistical issues.) Once my doctor arrived, she took a look and was very concerned with the fact that I was still bleeding as much as I was at this point.  It was determined that a part of my placenta had remained lodged in my uterus post-delivery and was attempting to work it's way out.  This was causing my issues.

Long story short, I had to get Kevin to rush up to STV downtown (because I couldn't watch the babies while under anesthesia, and he had to drive me home).  It was quite the juggling act to get me from my doctor's exam room to a hospital room to prep for surgery with The Limousine and screaming babies.  Once Kevin arrived, he took over the kiddos, I went to get my issues taken care of, and after surgery I joined Kevin and the boys in my room.  My appointment had been at 10am and by 4pm (ish) we were rolling up out of there.

Definitely not what I was expecting, but now everything is so much better!

Back to the Work Grind

October 5th was my doctor approved day that I could return to work. (Great! It's that time already?!?!)  I took things slow on Monday and sorted through emails, made phone calls to check in with everyone, and made my game plan for the next couple of weeks.  (I should mention that I will be working from home for the remainder of the year.  Once the twin's spots at daycare open up in January, I will return to the office.) 

Finding a happy work/mommy balance is a challenge for any mommy that is returning to work following their maternity leave, but especially hard when you're still sitting at home with the kiddos and needing to split your attention with them staring at you from their cradles.  It's now Friday, and I've made pretty good progress with my work and not sacrificed how I care for these kiddos.  I call that a win (so what if it's noon and I haven't brushed my teeth yet).

During the day, I'm able to get up and get about 2 hours of work done before they wake up around 9am.  Truthfully, those are my most productive 2 hours of the day.  After I feed them at 9am and pump, it's about 10am and I have another 2 hours to work and grab something to eat.  At noon, it's time to eat again, and they usually want to stay awake a little longer after this feeding.  So mid-day is when I have mommy/H&H time.  They eat again around 3pm, I pump, and then I have an hour to hour and a half before Kevin and Grady get home.

(Notice that there's no mention of laundry or bottle washing.  That's because it's not happening at this point.  Meaning dirty sink and an increasing pile of laundry.  Also, no naps...if that was even a thought.)

It's going to be a work in progress, but I will find a happy rhythm to life, and I'll just whip and nae nae through my day.