Long Road Ahead

Yesterday morning I woke up and as soon as my feet hit the floor I knew it would be a long day.  As I walked to the bathroom to start getting ready, I felt a sharp pain in my hips and pelvis with every step I took.  I managed to get in and out of the shower (but with difficulty) and that's when I realized that this wasn't something that was going to loosen up.

I can't truly explain the pain in a way that would do it justice.  I will admit that I can be a big baby when it comes to experiencing pain, and my flair for the dramatic tends to come to the surface.  However, I don't think anyone would say this pain I'm feeling is no big deal.  I can obviously feel the pressure of my growing belly, and the weight it now puts on my hips and pelvis.  I can feel the stretching of my skin and ligaments to make more room for these growing boys.  I can feel my ankles getting angry when I stand up for too long.  I can feel my lower back being pulled forward by this baby bump (or mountain).  As of yesterday morning, I now feel sharp pains that run all around my lower torso and shoot through my lower back around my pelvis.

There were a lot of tears as I tried to go about my normal morning routine.  The pain in my lower back and lower body was intense when I was moving, but I haven't had any contractions and I could feel both babies kicking around.  I understand that the weight and pressure of the babies is increasing, and the effects of that are starting to show on my body.  No one ever said this was going to be easy, but I don't remember hearing that it could possibly be this painful (this early on) either.

I made my slow journey to work, limping and walking like I was 600 lbs (see how dramatic I can be).  After I completed some of the tasks that had to be done that day, I decided it was in my best interest to go home and lay down.  Walking was/is painful, sitting was/is painful, but laying on my side with all of my pillows seemed to be sweet relief.  As I waddled down the hall at work, my boss asked if I was going into labor.  My reply, "Nope, just going home."  I'm very blessed to have the job I do with an understanding boss and co-workers.

On my way home, I decided to call my doctor to see if there was anything I could do to relieve this pain.  Once the nurse called back with the doctors response, she told me to come in that afternoon for an appointment.

For the record, my doctor is awesome.  Once I arrived they first checked on the babies heart rates (both in the 140's and kicking so much that the nurse started laughing as she was trying to get a reading).  They also checked me to make sure that my body wasn't showing any signs of wanting to go into labor.  Good news, just as I expected, the babies are great and still locked up so they can keep getting stronger (and bigger).  Basically, I've just hit that point in my pregnancy where I need to wear that maternity belt and take it slow and easy.  She said that it's not going to get any easier from this point, so I just need to find what makes me comfortable, and let the babies keep doing what they need to in order to grow and continue developing.

While my pain level today isn't any better than it was yesterday, I've decided we will just power through.  These boys and I are going to stick together for the next 12 weeks, and if I have to slow down a little to get there, then so be it.  No matter what the pain or discomfort I'm currently feeling, it's all just temporary, and the reward at the end of this experience is going to be better than words can describe.

God is so good to us, and we continue to thank Him for the blessings He gives us.  His power is so awesome, and there's no need for me to worry, because He has taken that burden away from me.

How are you feeling?

It seems like everywhere I go, people want to know "How are you feeling?" I truly appreciate the question; however, my positive, optimistic (yet realistic) self is finding it harder and harder to give truthful yet positive responses.

In all honesty, yes, I feel ok.  There are definitely people in this current condition of mine who are much worse off, and probably very few who are doing better.  So when you look at it that way, I am thankful.  I mean, I don't feel like running any marathons (like that lady who ran the Boston Marathon at 34 weeks pregnant #crazytalk), but I felt the same way about running a marathon 24 weeks ago when I wasn't "with child(ren)".  I do, however, feel completely up for laying in a float at the pool, or on a warm beach (with an umbrella), however, work seems to be getting in the way of that.

Like with any pregnancy, there are going to be some symptoms that are less than desirable to endure.  After having been pregnant once before, I think there are some elements of this pregnancy that have been easier, mainly because I had an idea of what to expect (and knew there was a definite end in sight...hello nausea).  So for anyone who may be wondering "how I'm feeling", here's my breakdown of what's going on with my body today (based on typical pregnancy woes).

1. Nausea - Hallelujah! I passed this milestone WEEKS ago! With Grady, my nausea was primarily in the evenings and lasted from 6 weeks to 18 weeks.  With H&H, the nausea plagued me every waking moment from 6 weeks to about 18 weeks.  The timeline was almost identical for both pregnancies, but the intensity was definitely more with the twins.  (I am in the lucky group of people who didn't become physically ill from the nausea, though there were definite moments of weakness where I was concerned I would lose the battle with my will to avoid hugging the toilet.)
2. Heartburn/Reflux - I've had some this time, but NOTHING like I did with Grady (for this I am grateful, but not naive enough to think I'm out of the woods yet).  My heartburn experience with Grady was one that had me thinking I was about to meet my maker.  Legit, I went to the ER because my heartburn was so bad.  I was a big baby about it and I feel no shame for this.  The way I described the pain to the doctors caused them to check me for gallstones, but then they delivered the news that I likely needed Prilosec daily (and to avoid my bi-weekly Mexican dishes that I was craving). (For the record, I took the Prilosec, and continued my same eating habits.  I am my own worst enemy.)  During this pregnancy so far, I had about 2 weeks where I thought things were going to be the same in the heartburn department, but it's kind of leveled out.  (Even though my craving of choice with H&H seems to be pizza.  Ask me any night of the week what I want to eat, and that is my answer.  Any kind of PIZZA.)
3. Swelling - I have already encountered the effects of pregnancy swelling (though right now it's off and on, nothing consistent).  My cankles emerged at about 21 weeks, but for the last 2-3 weeks have not returned.  When I did have swelling, my legs hurt so bad and I felt like I was having shin splints.  I have tried to drink more water since that started happening, and I've noticed a little relief; however, I also realize it's almost June.....in Alabama.....and I deliver at the end of August (ideally).....in Alabama.....The. Swelling. Will. Return....it's inevitable.  (I didn't swell with Grady until about 37 weeks.)
4. Leg/Foot Cramps - OH MY HOW I HATE THESE!!!! I had them a few times with Grady (after 30 weeks), but WOAH!  This time, I've had several cramps already that don't seem to want to go away. Nothing helps them.  I mean NOTHING.  I feel it coming on, and just look at Kevin and apologize, because once the cramp hits I am such a baby and I want him to help me, but I want him no where near me.  It's a lose, lose situation.  He's a champ about it, though and doesn't even make fun of me about it anymore.
5. Hip pain - These hips don't lie, and the pain that I've started to experience in the last month is no joke.  It's one of those scenarios where if I'm sitting too long in the same position at work, I feel sharp pains, or if I'm standing too long, I feel sharp pains.  Basically, the trick seems to be finding a happy balance between moving enough (but not too much) and sitting (but not in the same position for too long).  Still working to master this, because the hip pain makes walking a little complicated.  I didn't experience this AT ALL with Grady.
6. General discomfort - I have it.  Every pregnant woman has it. The timeline of when the real discomfort kicks in just seems to be accelerated with twins (makes sense).
7. Baby Brain - If you don't believe this is a thing, you're in denial (or haven't had a baby).  The affect being pregnant has had on my memory is one thing (basically, don't expect me to remember ANYTHING unless you write it on my arm in Sharpie), but it has truly depleted my motivation to do just about anything productive (that needs to get done).  We are having babies in 12 weeks (providing we don't go into labor before then).  I have yet to pick out a paint color for the nursery, there are 2 boxed cribs (unassembled) sitting in my study, I need to buy one more infant carrier car seat, I need to go through Grady's newborn and 3 month clothes to see what I have and what I need, I know we need more bottles and blankets (and diapers, ohhh lawd the diapers).  I haven't made the first baby purchase for these kiddos, and we're less than 3 months from meeting them. Might. Wanna. Get. Started.
8. Sleep deprivation - I have a toddler, so of course, I would love more sleep.  Grady doesn't sleep too bad, but he's my little 5am alarm clock on weekends that I can't reset for a different time. (Week days he sleeps until 6:00-6:30am, why we can't reverse these wake times is unknown to me.)  I haven't had much trouble sleeping yet (once I can finally get comfortable enough to fall asleep), so doing pretty good in this department.  I realize that in the coming months I will basically be a zombie, so I'm soaking it up while I can.

I'm sure there are other things that just aren't currently on my mind, so they didn't make the list.  I've reached the point where I feel the need to physically "carry" my growing belly around, so I'm looking into a good support brace for that.  At this rate, in the next few weeks I will be in danger of tipping forward if I'm not too careful (I'm a little front heavy these days).  

I'm moving at a much slower pace these days, and it's frustrating sometimes to realize that I now have physical limitations.  Grady is getting better about walking up the stairs on his own, because I just can't carry him up them anymore.  And it is pretty clutch having a toddler around who understands that when mommy drops something, he needs to pick it up for me (he's super helpful with that sort of thing).  I've also got that pregnant waddle strut going on, and can't even deny it. I've reached that point where I feel "really pregnant". 

The positive experiences I'm currently having are being able to feel these sweet movements of both boys.  For the most part I can pick out which one is moving and kicking.  Harrison is definitely our more active baby right now (I don't think he is ever still).  Hudson seems to be a little more low key and just likes to remind me he's there every now and then (he does use my bladder as a punching bag, and we're gonna have to have a talk about that).  Despite the aches and pains, and the low energy and lack of motivation, I absolutely love to just lay on the couch and feel those babies moving and growing. It's a special little miracle and I'm so glad that God choose us to experience this.

I continue to look forward to my bi-weekly ultrasounds to check on the babies, and will have my next one on June 4th.  My goal between now and then is to select a paint color for the nursery (one step at a time, right?). 

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for our family and this pregnancy.  It means so much to us, and it's working!

p.s. Unrelated to my pregnancy, but closely related to praying for our blessings, when my mom and I were shopping this weekend, I saw a framed quote that really puts things into perspective.  So here's some extra little food for thought today.  (I have no clue who this quote belongs to, but it really made me stop and think about what is important in this life.)